For some reason I thought of this while in traffic today. What else would I think about? (I wrote this a month or so ago, thanks to Stede I’m publishing it because fun posts are fun).
1) The Grinder – If there’s a “best” ore path, or top place to get skins, or a set of dailies rewarding the most gold you’ll find this person. They made their gold the old fashioned way, they mined/herbed/skinned/quested for it. Friend of the Jeweler and Paper Pusher, you can count on them needing to move a truckload of something quick, but not for too low a price.
2) The Flipper – Dedicating their lives to full scan searches via Auctioneer/TUJ Sniper, these are the people looking for the bargains they can turn for more. They are the ones screaming for auctionhouse apps for their phones so they can scan and scam in their cars. Ranging from coppers to tens of thousands of gold to hundreds of thousands for the most exclusive items, they comb the realms looking for deals to pile it up. Someone forgot to tell them to spend some on themselves, but one never knows when they’ll need that 10/20/40 million to make a deal happen.
3) The Arms Dealer – Profession kings. Who needs 9 Blacksmiths for the next patch? They do, and extra accounts because 11 slots isn’t enough to handle their little pixelated sweatshop. Apple and Martha have nothing on these people for forced labor camps, with 3, 4, and 10 accounts just so they can make the gear to get you ahead – for the lowest cost and the best price because dammit you aren’t paying more and you’ve forced it to this!
4) The Chemist/Crack Dealers – Somehow between TBC and Wrath these people got lost at a wrong turn at Albuquerque and still make their money slinging potions and flasks. They’re out there, waiting on those procs just so they can brag to their friends about the 5 proc on the strength flasks, so everyone will forget about the string of no-procs they threw down the past week. Yes friends, it’s worth it in the end. If anyone hasn’t made a profit in the game in the past 3 expansions, it’s these guys. They’ll tell you they made a profit, they farmed the mats so they were free!
5) The Jeweler – Close relative of the Paper Pusher, these guys are adept at pushing a single button once every 4.26 seconds to bust up those rocks the rest of the server is too lazy to prospect. They’ll typically need guild banks and extra mail slots to hold all their ores and minerals, because one day they’ll get around to handling the load. Their entire focus is Tuesday. Because on that day friends, they get to hock their wares and then return to the shadowy confines of some whisked away abode in who-knows-where while they prep for the next week. Commonly complains about the price of ore; any ore, pick one.
6) The Gambler – Ever wonder who falls for those “presents in a box, 1 has a mount” spams in trade? Or even the highest roll wins spam? Do you know a guild where certain addons for trash pulls are required so you can roll for gold? How about the people that religiously farm for MFCs, or those that even buy them? You’ve met the gambler, these are the guys who won’t work the auctionhouse or do a daily to save their bank account, but throw down 1000 gold for a 10% chance at doubling it? They’re in! Probably the most close association to people you actually know in real life, we all have these types in the family.
7) The Paper Pusher – These guys are your scribes. They need a new name, because scribe is going on 6 years old and this is really all they do. Make glyphs, post, cancel, repost, recraft, repeat. They push paper better than a government bureaucrat and thanks to addons with more efficiency. That’s all they do, too. JC? Nah. Enchanting? Too much cost. Alchemy? Blacksmith? Tailor? Who has the time!? Commonly seen preparing for monthly Darkmoon trips.
8) Prada/Coco – as in Chanel. Making lots of custom bags and for every occasion, these people are cloth fiends. They still make Mooncloth bags because they look better than Netherweave. If you need a 28 slot enchanting bag, they’ll hook you up. Outdated since TBC? They have it and are probably posting it.
What do you think? Know any other types? As we roll into the conclusion of mass goldmaking (WoD) I’m wondering if there’s anyone I missed.